I was recently told that hints won't do it, if I want something, I need to say it. So here it is. This is what I want from a man. This is for all those potential boyfriends/husbands out there. ;-)
Don't get me wrong, some of the guys I have dated have done some of these things. And of course I'm not expecting anyone to do them ALL, but in general, this is what would make me happy. These aren't in order and most of it is just how it comes out of my head.
Show me you love me every day. Little things are the best. Touch me as you walk by, leave me notes around the house telling me you love me. Once a day at least, walk up to me and kiss me like the movies, just out of the blue and for no reason. Bring me flowers once in a while. They can be from the neighbor's yard for all I care. Every so often, wake me up in the middle of the night or in the morning, tell me to get dressed and take me on an adventure. It doesn't have to be anything particular, it can be a place we've never been or a place we go all the time. Even if it's just to go have a picnic lunch somewhere before we go to work. If I've had a bad day or I am in tears, even if it's because of you, just hold me. Just wrap me in your arms and tell me you love me.
This is a big one, it even gets its own paragraph: Make my birthday special. My birthday has always been a big deal (it happens when you're an only child) and I like it that way. It doesn't have to be expensive but it should be well thought out. You can take me camping or just get me some flowers and write me a love letter. While I do like shiny things and going out and all of that, it isn't always necessary (once in a while would be nice).
Do the dishes or the laundry. Pick up the house just so I don't have to. I don't mind doing it, I love cooking (I hate cleaning) but having someone share the workload is fantastic. I like adventures, day trips or overnights. I LOVE surprises (the good kind anyway). Hold my hand or put your arm around me when we're out. Cuddle with me in bed. If I go to bed first, when you come in, curl up around me, even if it's just for a few minutes before you turn over to fall asleep. If you leave before I'm awake, always kiss me goodbye.
If there is something wrong, something you don't like, talk to me. I can't fix it unless I know. Never, ever lie to me (except where it concerns a surprise for me), not even to protect my feelings or because you think I'll be mad. Just get it over with, I will be 10 times as angry if I find out about it later and find out you lied. Never, ever, ever cheat on me. If you feel yourself starting to drift, tell me immediately and we will either work it out or we won't.
Take care of me and I will take care of you. Show me you love me everyday and it will be returned. Maybe these things are a lot to ask, maybe they're not. But I need someone as corny and romantic as I am. I need someone who will watch sappy chick-flicks with me and not complain about it (ok, you can complain a little). Grow with me, learn with me. Maybe we can take classes together, ballroom dancing or a cooking class. Also very important, I want a family more than anything in the world. If you don't want one, forget it, we're not on the same page in the least.
All of this being said, I believe with all my heart and soul that there is someone out there for each of us...it's just a matter of finding them. Maybe I've already met you, maybe I haven't. But either way I hope this helps. You can never, ever tell me you don't know what I want. ;-)
"The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." --Juno
The Blog of the Future (dodoododoodooooo)
15 years ago
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I'm reading this as a general educational piece, thank you. Some of it won't apply to anyone I date (I'm an Orthodox Jew, so especially the parts about physical contact with the woman will only be applicable after marriage - yes, I actually do take these laws seriously!), but still, it's good to learn general knowledge, just because you never know when it'll be applicable. Heck, I just realized that what Henry David Thoreau (the inspiration behind Ghandi and MLK) says about the Mexican-American War is applicable to the machinations of Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak. So you never know when some random tidbit of information will take on profound significance.
ReplyDeleteAnd besides, knowledge per se is always good, even it has no practical relevance whatsoever. As Professor Gershom Scholem once said, "Qabala/Kabbalah is nonsense, but the study of nonsense - that is scholarship!".
As an aside, I cracked up in self-deprecating laughter when you mentioned chick flicks. A few months ago, I found that whenever I wanted to watch a movie, the de rigeur explosions and weaponry** were being replaced by sappy scenes of Will Smith and Matthew McConaughey with some significant other. See, I even learned how to spell "McConaughey" off the top of my head, without looking it up! Something was very wrong, and I took it as a sign from G-d that perhaps I ought to start dating.
** There was a movie preview a few years ago of James Cameron standing around, talking about how everything in his movies needed to be "awesome". Meanwhile, one object after another kept exploding around him. "Awesome barbeque" resulted in a barbeque grill exploding, etc. And then there's the Simpsons episode when Lisa thought she was getting stupid; "Coming up next on Fox: 'When Buildings Collapse!', followed by, 'When Surgery Goes Wrong!'."